My Morning with Tom Petty

My Morning with Tom Petty

Years ago, in what seems now like another lifetime, I met Tom Petty. I did not know who he was at the time. I was not, let’s say, a big fan of his music. I was much younger, a bit wild and just trying to live life to the fullest. I had a week down in the Miami area with a few friends. I’d spent my entire day on the beach letting the sun kiss my skin in ways that would make me cringe about now. That night I hit a few clubs with my friends. We spent the wee hours of the night and morning drinking, dancing, and flirting. Right before the sun came up, my friends decided to go back to the room. They’d drank much more than I had and they were wasted and ready to pass out. I was, as usual, feeling restless and unsettled. I didn’t want to go back to the room so I made my way down to the beach. I sat there alone, on South Beach and watched the sun come up. I remember feeling it warm my shoulders. At some point I decided I was in need of a drink; maybe something to eat. So I walked across the street where my hotel was. The bottom floor had a bar that served food, with a street side door. It was early and I wondered if it would even be open. But I pulled the door and when it opened I stepped inside.

There was one man sitting at the bar. The rest of the place was eerily empty. Before I could get inside a lady poked her head out of the kitchen area and said “We don’t open for another hour”. I started to turn and leave, but the man at the bar said to her “it’s okay hon, she’s with me”. The lady nodded and I continued into the bar. The man motioned for me to join him. When I sat he asked me if I was 21 yet. I told him yes by a few years. So he offered me a mimosa and I readily accepted. He looked strangely familiar, like he was someone I should know; but I couldn’t place him. I couldn’t put a name with the face. He was dressed strangely for the beach area. He wore a pair of jeans that looked like he might have bought them a decade back and worn them every single day. He had on a plain white t-shirt and a black hat. He was barefoot. Hardly anyone wore jeans in South Beach, so that alone was strange. But I sat and had the mimosa with him and we talked like two old friends. He asked about my trip to the beach and I told him what I’d been up to. I told him where I was from, and what I was doing with my life.

At one point I asked him what he did for a living. He looked at me for a long moment and then replied “Well, mostly I guess I just bum around the country picking a guitar and singing for people wherever they let me”. (Note that I still did not know this man was a famous singer, much less Tom Petty.) I asked him if he was any good at it. Yes. I Know! Looking back later, it was such an incredulous question to ask of such a highly skilled entertainer. But I didn’t know that at the time. So yes, I asked him if he were any good. He actually thought about it a moment before saying “I play a pretty mean guitar but my singing? Well I’m not sure I’m a very good singer at all…but some people say I am”. I then told him that maybe he wasn’t giving himself enough credit. (Oh to go back and smack myself over these stupid statements I made that morning!)

While we talked, he poured us another drink. The kitchen lady came back out and told us that the kitchen was ready and asked what we wanted to eat. The strange man sitting beside me looked me right in the eyes and asked “Would you like to go outside and have breakfast with me”? I told him that I would love to do that. So he ordered us a plate of Eggs Benedict and told the lady to bring it outside when ready. We walked out the door and sat at a cafe table. We sat there quietly and watched the ocean. A few people were out jogging. Many birds were flying and diving into the water. It was so peaceful just in that moment. We talked a little more and then we ate our breakfast. He told me about his different guitars and why he liked this one or that. Most of it was senseless to me because I knew nothing about guitars at the time. I still know virtually nothing about guitars.

After we ate he looked over at me and asked “You wanta walk down there and put our feet in the water”? Again, I agreed and we walked across to the beach. We walked up and down that beach for about a half hour, talking the entire time about everything and nothing. He asked me at one point “Do you ever just feel tired? Like just tired of life in general….tired of living”? I said no. I told him “I don’t feel tired of living. But yes, life often makes me tired. I get tired of the way I am always unsettled, always seeking something that I’m not even sure exists…”. He stopped walking and looked me right in the eyes. He said “maybe that’s just it. Maybe that’s what makes us so tired of life. Maybe we are just meant to search and search for something that we will never have”. I told him that sounded sad to me.  We were quiet then for the rest of our walk.

When we’d walked back to the place we started he asked if he could show me something. I said yes and he asked me if I could wait right there. I remember saying then “you haven’t even told me your name”. And he said “oh sorry, I’m Tom”. He promised he would be right back. So I said “Well then Tom, yes I will wait right here”. He walked back across to the bar where I’d met him and disappeared inside. I sat down in the sand wondering what I was doing. I’d spent my entire morning with this strange man. I was sure my mother would scold me for my behavior if she’d known! When he returned he was carrying a beat up, hard guitar case over his shoulder, and two big cups. He handed the cups to me. Mimosas! He sat down across from me on the sand and pulled out his guitar. We used the hard case as a table for our drinks. He then started tuning and strumming the guitar. While he did this he said “you know, in another life I think I could fall in love with you…or a girl like you” and I smiled, thinking not in a million years. He was much older than me I thought, and he was not handsome in any way. But he seemed like a good soul and I was flattered by his comment. I asked “are you going to sing me a song”? He told me that he was most definitely going to play me a song. Then I asked him if I could pick the song. (Yes, I was very young and stupid.) He laughed heartily and said “I thought I’d play you one of mine if that’s okay”. I shook my head and sat quietly watching the waves hit the shore while he tuned is guitar.

When he started playing the song I was mesmerized by the guitar. He was not a hack. He was quite obviously an expert at guitar playing. It wasn’t until he started singing that I realized what song he was doing. He sat there in the sand signing “learning to fly” and it was then that I realized who he was. I gasped when this realization hit me. He saw it the moment I figured it out but he never skipped a beat. He continued his song and then went right into “American girl”. Granted, I was not a big Tom Petty fan. But everyone knew these songs. Everyone. I sat there staring at him singing just basking in the sun and in the realization that Tom-freaking-Petty was singing songs just for me! Looking at him then, it was obvious WHO he was and I was a bit ashamed of myself for not figuring it out from the start. I mean, you’re never really prepared to run into a major rock star over breakfast, ya know? I knew right then that I had a great story to share with my friends later. I also knew they would all be extremely jealous!

When he stopped singing I said “why didn’t you tell me who you were”? He laughed again before saying “I’ve enjoyed spending the morning with you while you didn’t know who I was. Fame is a crazy thing. It’s nice to be able to shrug it off for a while”. I thanked him for the songs and then he said he really had to go. People, it seems, were probably waiting for him or looking for him. He packed up his guitar, drank the rest of his mimosa in one big gulp and stood up. He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek before he left. I stood there watching him go, wondering if I should start being a Tom Petty fan.

The truth is, I’ve never really become a huge fan of his music. There are several songs he’s done that I really do love. But I’ve never taken to his voice in the way I have other singers. At the same time, I’ve been a fan of Tom Petty the person, ever since that morning. He was the kind of person you imagine when you hear the term “old soul”. He was kind and friendly and gracious. He was extremely down to earth and talkative, even to a strange girl he met at a beachside bar. Another truth here is that later that day I thought I was dying. Apparently the eggs benedict we had that morning gave me a horrible case of salmonella poisoning. I had to actually visit an ER at South Beach late that evening. I have wondered all these years if Tom also got sick from our breakfast together. I spent the next three days of my beach vacation locked in my hotel room, sick and in bed. But you know, it was totally worth it. I’ve told this story to many, many people over the years. Some of them probably didn’t even believe me. Some of them probably think I made the whole thing up. My friends who were with me that week in South Beach were about 50/50 on whether they believed it was really Tom Petty. One of them thought maybe I’d just met a look alike or an impersonator. But I know the truth of that morning. I’ve thought of him so fondly over the years and I’ve given all of his music a chance. Only a few of those songs touched me. But every time I hear American Girl or Learning to Fly it takes me back to that morning on the beach. In that moment I was so at peace; I felt so settled and calm while he was signing.

So, that’s my story of meeting and having breakfast with Tom Petty. I ended up with some pretty great memories and a pretty bad case of salmonella! But you gotta take the good with the bad in this life. RIP Tom, my old friend. You’ll be sadly missed by so many. I’ll have this one memory of you though, forever.

~Kymber

I TOLD YOU SO, WEEK ONE

To those who told me to wait and give Trump a chance;

Well it’s been about a week since the inauguration. Everyone sort of held their breath, waiting to see what would happen. There were many who told me to wait. Many who said I should give him a chance. Many who swore that none of the things I was fearful of would ever really happen? He won’t really build a wall. He won’t really ban or register Muslims. He won’t really try to deport people. He won’t really get rid of the ACA. Everyone wanted to wait and see. Well that waiting is over. We see. At least I see. I see that everything happening is exactly what I feared from the start. It is you, you out there who tried to tell me that my fears were irrational, who did not see. Many of you still do not see the truth. Many of you are still saying that nothing yet has happened. Many of you are sitting there wondering why half the country is screaming about all of this. I am unsure what it will take for you to see the truth of Trump’s America. And that’s just what it has become. His. So this is Week One and we are already at the I Told You So stage. Here are the things I Told You So about for Week One. (And yes, it’s sad that ALL of this has happened in Week One.)

Trump signed an order to build that wall. That wall that SOME of you swore would never really happen. It was campaign rhetoric you said. It was scare tactics you said. The American people nor Congress would ever allow it. Well, guess what? It’s allowed. Congress is today already moving money around to pay for it and they’re happy to do so. Oh and Mexico? As I tried to explain MONTHS ago, they aren’t paying for Trump’s big beautiful wall. They never intended to and they never will. I’m sorry folks but if you are okay with your tax dollars being spent for HIS wall, you are part of the problem with this country. Remember he told you time and time again that Mexico was paying for it? Now he says we are paying for it. He says that one day, in “some form”, Mexico will pay for that wall but it will be “complicated” to explain how. You’re still falling for it, while I see the truth. He will build his wall. We will pay for it. Great job. I told you so.

Muslim Ban will never happen! Oh you were so sure that was unconstitutional and that American’s would never allow it. But guess what? Trump signed an order to put a ban on Muslims entering our country yesterday. By the way this was for immigrant and non-immigrant entries into the US. It happened and it was fast. He first stated in the order that Syrians are totally banned. Totally. Then he blocked Muslims (or anyone really) from other countries on the list as well. And by the way, WHY did he intentionally leave Saudi Arabia off that banned list? I still haven’t figured that one out so there must be some money there for him. We will also ban foreign nationals from those countries. Anyhow, the ban was signed and he is sticking to it. I told you so.

Refugees? Oh we must allow them since they’re all vetted in detail, right? We would not, as a country stop allowing people fleeing for their lives a safe place of respite. OH but we will. Trump’s order this week suspends Syrian refugees indefinitely. Then it goes on to suspend ALL refugees for 120 days. After that 120 days, we will allow some but only from the countries he approves, and not from Syria at all. We will cap refugees for this year at 50k. Trump will establish safe zones in Syria – so that means this is really the first plan for the US to escalate its involvement inside Syria and who knows what that will mean. But it’s a fact that safe zones will not, and do not work. I am sad for those refugees who thought that America might offer them a safe haven. But so many of you swore that this would never actually happen. I told you so.

This week Trump signed an order for Congress to move forward with the immediate and full repeal of the ACA. This is a big one because so many of you told me that this would not happen. He cannot repeal that entire law you said. He won’t take it away from us you said. He will, you said, just fix it, make it better, and make it more affordable. Well you are eating your words today. There is no plan in place to replace the ACA. This means there is no plan for our healthcare. Oh and many of you don’t care because you aren’t “on the Obamacare” anyhow, right? This is where you have been blinded by the sleight of hand, or just not paying attention. When the ACA is fully repealed we will ALL lose, no matter what insurance we currently have. You see, as I’ve been saying all along ACA is a law not a health insurance plan. The ACA had MANY mandates that we all benefit from. For example, it makes it illegal for an insurer to deny coverage due to a pre-existing condition. It takes away the lifetime maximums. It allows parents to insure their children to age 26. It provides birth control and reproductive care to women. All of these things will be repealed with the ACA. So you will go back to the days where if you had a pre-existing condition, insurance companies would deny you. Remember, there is no replacement in sight. I keep reading that some have drafts and ideas of what it could be replaced with. Just this morning I read the plan that has supposedly been given to Trump for review. This plan does not offer insurance to all. It does not mandate about pre-existing conditions. In fact, it gives vouchers or tax credits so that we can buy our own policies. It is horrible and it will leave millions uninsured yet again. The ones who are sick will not be able to get coverage. Also, Medicare in that drafte is done with block grants. Do you know what that means? It means each state will get a certain amount of money for Medicare and that’s it. When it runs out? No more care. Those who can’t get Medicare or pay for their own insurance and have a pre-existing conditions would go right back to high risk pools. Waiting lists. People die in high risk pools. Please research that if you don’t believe me. So week one and he has already ordered that the ACA will be fully repealed. I told you so.

On top of the things I worried Trump would do, I too was concerned what the states would do with their new power. I’ve seen quite quickly what they will do. They will attack abortion rights, women’s rights and healthcare. They will again start working against the LGBT community and worker's unions. They will again start ensuring that nobody takes away their gun rights. You can see this in states and communities all across our country right now. Here in KY, our state rushed and passed a few new laws. First KY passed a law for Right to Work. If you’re not familiar with this, I suggest you look into it. RTW laws bring the money that Americans make down. They are not good for our workers (union and other) nor are they good for our communities. They do not bring in good, decent paying jobs. Right to Work means Right to Work for Less. Also in KY, we’ve passed two new abortion laws. SB5 and HB2 were passed very quickly. In fact our leaders determined that RTW and Abortion were the top priority! They met on a Saturday, special session to sign these into law. Kindly note that they were already in session and no special weekend session was actually needed. But they wanted to hurry before it blew up. There are many supporting these new abortion laws. I dare say that the supporters have NOT read the details. See the devil is often in the details. These laws sound okay to many people if you only read the title. But read them word for word and you’ll find the problems pretty quickly. There is, for example, no exemption for rape or incest in either law. There is a clause in one of them allowing “any father” to sue any mother and doctor for an abortion where he is that baby’s father. The problem there is that again, there is no exemption for rape or incest. So in fact it allows a rapist who impregnates a girl (rape or incest) to sue her and her doctor for aborting his child. This is a travesty and it is wholly against all rights a woman should have. We should never give them the opportunity victimize the woman again. This is just plain wrong, and they knew it when they met on a weekend to vote and sign it. So while many were worried about what Trump would do, I was also very worried about what the states would do. They’re doing it quickly. I told you so.

By the way, many of you also swore a few other things that aren’t written in orders or direct actions. Some of you said that once elected he would release those tax returns. He said he would and that meant he would. But now he says that he won’t. He never intended to and he refuses to do so. He said he would divest any business arrangements that would be against the law. He has not and he does not intend to. He is in my opinion, totally in violation of the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. If you don’t even know what that is, go look it up! Some of you even had the audacity to tell me that once elected he would calm down, be more respectable, be more “Presidential” and less of a bully. You said his crazy, insulting, ranting tweets would cease. Well, can I just say again, I told you so? He has spent the greater part of this first week ranting over the 3-5 million fraudulent votes he believes HRC got. He spent the rest of that time ranting over the number of people who attended his inauguration event. The man is delusional and dangerous. This man is not going to ever be respectful of others. He only respects those like him. Those who have money or power. He is never going to be a good lead or seem “Presidential”. Presidents don’t sit up ranting and raving, and attacking people over Twitter in the middle of the night. He is what he always has been, a big baby who likes to bully his way around. His total lack of respect for people will not change. It has not changed. Nothing about him has changed. He thinks this is all one big reality show and he's the star of it. Don’t even get me started on that pipeline! I told you so.

So, with one week in office, many things that I feared have already started. There are more things he has done here in week one. I can’t talk about all of them. All around our country people are gearing up for fights about one issue or another. Some are still saying “but what have you lost” and “nothing has really happened”. But those of us with our eyes open can easily see the changes taking place. It might be that millions do not want to accept that. They don’t want to hear I Told You So, but they may as well face facts right now. Real facts that is, not alternative facts. There is in fact, nothing real about an alternative fact. There is no such thing. An alternative fact is not the truth. You might be living in an alternate society in your mind. But I assure you that facts are facts people. I must face the fact that he is the US President. I agree that is a fact. However, I will never support or respect him in any way. But you know, he will not support or respect me either. That is a fact right there folks! This ends my First Installment of I Told You So. Pretty long list for Week One, wouldn’t you say? Well friends, it only goes downhill from here. I’m personally hoping that it crashes and burns quickly. That tends to keep the body count low.

Be safe out there,

SanityChick

Kalief Browder - Wrongful Death

Today I want to tell you the story of Kalief Browder. I cannot get this story out of my mind. It lingers with anger. There aren't many talking about this story. But we SHOULD all be talking about this. Today I will give you the highlights to this sad story. If you're so inclined you can simply look up all the horrid details. But at a time when our nation is screaming about racists and bigots and those illegal immigrants - we are allowing this type of injustice to take place right here in our own judicial system. This is the case that never should have happened. An arrest that should not have been made. But it's what happened AFTER that arrest that is the real issue. The court system is in chaos. THIS is something we all need to start worrying about. Think about this young man. He could have been YOUR son. If you're heartbroken, perhaps share the story. It's out there online in many places. Get people talking about it! This young man's death should not be in vain.

Kalief Browder, age 16, arrested for stealing a backpack in 2010. He claimed that he was not guilty. Him and a friend were walking home from a party. Police surrounded them saying that they “fit the description” of someone who had just stolen a backpack from someone on the street. They were not even in that area until they were arrested. The so-called “victim” in this theft had told police that Browder had stolen his backpack – had in fact “robbed” him. When they put Bowder in the police car, the victim then changed his story. He hadn’t just been robbed he said, no he had been robbed two weeks ago. The two teenaged boys were put into a holding cell. Browder was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny – a far cry from the first “stolen a backpack” that the so-called victim had reported. The friend was released to his parents. Browder was kept in jail because he was on juvenile probation “youthful offender” status for being with people months earlier who had stolen a truck and taken it for a “joy ride”. His family did not have the $3000 cash needed to bail him out. So they took this 16 year old right over to RIKERS ISLAND. Horrified the family tried to get an attorney. The couldn’t afford it so one was appointed for Browder, but he sat in jail at Rikers Island. Now to get an understanding of the time it takes there for criminal court proceedings – know this – during that time period there were 5,695 felony cases that the DA was to prosecute. Browder became one of many, waiting for his day in court. Sitting in jail, he waited. And waited. And waited. There is no evidence of a “speedy and public trial” as is guaranteed by the Sixth Amendment in the Bronx. He would wait there in that jail 74 days just to be taken to see a judge and formally indicted. He was accused now by the so-called victim of pursuing him, pushing him against a fence, stealing his backpack and punching him in the face. He pled not-guilty. Now that he was formally indicted, he was returned to jail. He would not be eligible for bail now. Being on probation, this was a violation – just to be indicted, even though he had no trial. So innocent until proven guilty also doesn’t exist there. He would not plead guilty. The victim had changed his story twice already. Browder told his attorney that they had the wrong black kid. It took the Prosecutor’s office awhile, but they stated readiness and the trial was set for 01/28/2011. This means Browder was in jail for 258 days at that time. When taken to court on that date, the Prosecutor stated “The People are Not Ready” and was given an extension – until March. This led to delay after delay. In March the trial date was set. The Prosecutor wasn’t ready and requested an extension of one week. In June, another extension requested and granted, and again in August. In November the Prosecutor requested a 2 week extension claiming “not ready” and again in December another request due to the Prosecutor working another trial. Every time the Prosecutor requested a one week extension, the Judge gave a 6 week extension because the courts are so overwhelmed. Browder’s court appointed lawyer was too overwhelmed and busy to meet with him or even take his calls. He pleaded with his parents to get him out of jail! It had been FAR beyond the 6 month rule. But the catch is that they extended it over and over and thus “reset” the 6 month time clock. This is a crock of BS in my opinion. Browder spent a lot of time in Solitary Confinement. He was assaulted many times by staff and other inmates. He was only 16 years old. He started losing his mind. Depression set in. Suicidal thoughts set in. At one point he was placed in Solitary for 10 months straight!

Having now spent a whopping 634 days in Rikers, Browder was close to the end. He attempted to kill himself. He was not successful and thus slipped further into depression and suicidal thoughts. He started thinking the TV was watching him. His mental state was going downhill. Then on 2/17/12 he was finally taken back to court. But the Judge never called his case. In fact, he had but they hadn’t bothered to bring him up from holding to the courtroom for his own case! That day the Prosecutor stated that he was not ready, yet again, because the assistant of his was on vacation! Extension was granted until March 6^th.  That evening Browder tried again to kill himself at Rikers. He was unsuccessful in this attempt. Later he was offered a deal by the Prosecutor to take to plead guilty but he refused to take it – knowing that he would be a felon if he did that. More court extension followed. June, September, November and December of 2012 each court date the Prosecutor requested extension and that was granted. By this time he had been jailed for 961 days without any sort of trial! THREE YEARS! In March he got a new Judge. She was trying to clear old cases. She offered him another deal of pleading guilty to 2 misdemeanors and time served. He was not going to plead guilty to a crime he did not commit. He begged yet again for an actual TRIAL which he was rightfully due. He was having mental health issues en masse at this time. He was not in his right mind by any means. She set him a trial date for May 29^th. But at that time the Prosecutor said that they simply could not proceed and were ready to dismiss the case! The Judge released him. No trial. No jury. Just a statement from the District Attorney saying that the so-called victim had gone awol and that they were unable to meet the burden of proof at a trial. That was it.  Browder had turned 20 by the time he was released. He spent over 3 years in jail and was never given a trial.

But the time in jail had turned him into another person. His family helped him all they could. They even got an attorney to sue the D.A. for unlawfully holding this kid so long without any trial, in a case that could have been settled in a few days.  Apparently that Prosecutor kept filing “not ready” and asking for extensions because they had lost the victim. At any time, after losing the victim, they could have dismissed this case. But they kept this kid in jail for over 3 years, knowing they had no victim and no case. What took place over the next months and few years is heartbreaking. Browder was in and out of mental health treatment. He was suicidal, paranoid, and depressive. He attempted suicide several times. He started school and dropped out. He was different than the other students now. He was robbed of those high school years. He did finally succeed in killing himself. He hanged himself out of the window of his parents home. It is a horrendous end to a young life. And end that never should have happened. He was 22 at the time of his death. His family has filed the $20 Million dollar suit against New York. If you don’t think this is a horrendous crime then you have no heart or moral compass.

#justiceforkaliefbrowder

Top Reasons Why I would Not Vote for Him

Here are the TOP Reasons I will not vote for Trump (or anyone like him)…ever.

I fully believe that he is a racist and a bigot. I believe that he thinks he is “better” than others of other races, colors, nationality, gender, income level, religion, etc. I feel that he is helping to spread the hatred of racism and bigotry more now than I have ever seen in my lifetime.

I fully believe he has no respect for the military, military families who have lost loved ones, those who have given their lives for our country, etc. Say what you want, but I fully believe he thinks he knows more than all the high ranking military officials out there who have decades of knowledge and experience. He tells the black community that they should support him because they have nothing to lose, What about their rights? Their healthcare? We ALL have something to lose by voting for him. He is so hateful and vulgar.

I believe he is immature, child-like, easy to bait, and a bully. He reminds me of a 7 year old boy on the playground who thinks he is better than everyone else. He is easy to get raging. He takes the bait on anything and starts acting mean and nasty. He cannot admit he is wrong. He is like a fit throwing child. He is full of drama and over-acting just like a hateful or naughty bully. He simply cannot be or even act like a successful, professional, knowledgeable person. His temperament is better for the playground or the casino than our White House. 

I feel he falls for every conspiracy, rumor, and lie that is out there, spreads them and makes them worse. Must I mention the “birther” issue, the rumors he started saying that both Cruz and Rubio weren’t eligible to be President either, that a certain war hero wasn’t really a hero, that W lied about the mass destruction weapons, that actually Hillary started the “birther” issue, and many others over time? He either falls for everything he hears, or he actually makes up lies and then gets them spread. Again, idiotic, uneducated nonsense.

Could I step back a moment and mention the term Eminent Domain? Please go look it up if you don’t know what this means! Please do! Now! He supports this very strongly. If you do not understand why this is important, please go research!

I fully believe that he is ignorant of almost every single thing a President should know. I did not say stupid. He COULD gain this knowledge. But he’s too full of himself to even try! He could research things and get the actual information. Why should he? People believe his BS so he doesn’t need to bother. I do not think we have ever had a more unintelligent nominee of the basics of the Job he’s running for.

I fully believe that he knows nothing about the US Constitution – and that he only cares about the rights he wants for himself and his people (you know, those other rich, conservative (LOL), white men). He could care less about my rights as a woman, or the future rights of my daughter. He could care less that blacks have the same rights as whites. When it comes to this so-called “religious freedom” he only cares about the mainstream religion he claims to be a part of (though he’s the most Un-Christian candidate I’ve ever seen). He doesn’t think other races, religions, genders, nationalities even have or need the same rights. And forget about anything referring to LGBT rights. You can throw all that out the door.

Speaking of which, my next point – he is totally against all LGBT rights and doesn’t think that they should have any. In fact, he has chosen a running mate, and several others who are already part of this stupid “pray away the gay” idiocy. They want nothing more than to take us back a decade when we just finally got this far. A vote for him is a vote against the future of same sex marriage, unions between any same sex couple, adoption for these folks, and any other rights that the NON-LGMT community have.

He ATTRACTS white supremacists, racists, hate filled souls, and other deplorable folks. And yes, if you fall into these categories I find you one of the deplorables. Go wear your white sheets somewhere else. We do not need a President to attract these types of fans or friends. That is ruinous for our country.

I fully believe he could CARE LESS about our healthcare, or lack thereof. He doesn’t want to provide any type of healthcare for the poor. He doesn’t care about the poor. He thinks everything is bought and paid for but cannot ever understand that we have working poor, elderly poor, young, and middle aged poor. He cares nothing about these people. He doesn’t even understand ANYTHING about healthcare, the system; the needs. He has no real plan for that either. He cannot even have a smart discussion on the issue.

He surrounds himself with people I would not want to spend any time with. In fact, I am almost certain I would really dislike them. These haters and fakers and flakes belong nowhere near a Presidential candidate.

He cannot be trusted. If I cannot trust him to even TRY to look up a few things, to try and come up with some talking points that are true, can I trust him even a bit? No. I don’t think he is trustworthy and I think he is actually a liar, and a horrible one at that.

He is spiteful, mean and vengeful. I do not think he needs to be in charge of the economy, the military, war, weapons, etc. He lives to get revenge and show it off (have you read his books?). He will go after anyone, for any reason. I feel he will drive us to death, war and destruction. He has virtually alienated several large groups of people across the world. He is not a man we can expect to be in the White House and play well with others.

He does not speak with actions at this point, only words. He stands up and says we need jobs. We need manufacturing, we must have it. Yet his OWN companies make their products in other countries. If he wants to talk about jobs – he should move his own manufacturing to the US.

He’s totally caught on Trump University! Say no more.

He changes his mind on everything. The thing is, I really don’t think he even has a point of view. I think he goes with whatever is popular at the time, whatever gets him ratings. He wanted to be against Obama so he started the birther thing. Now he tries to say it’s over but he still won’t admit he started it. He was all IN FAVOR of the amnesty bill a few years ago. Remember? I do! But now he’s calling out all immigrants and wants to deport, restrict, and build a wall.

Have I mentioned his view on immigration sets us back a hundred years? Have I mentioned it tears apart families? What about the children who lose their mother or father because they get deported? Maybe it takes the father 3 years to get back? The children are paying here. The families are and will be ripped apart. This is NOT the way to handle it with a “blanket” approach.

Have I mentioned his stupid wall? I mean, let’s be real here people. It’s stupid. It’s not feasible. It is NEVER going to happen. And if it did, it would go directly against EVERYTHING our country once stood for.

Another very, very important thing is this – the next President will appoint the Supreme Court Justice seat now, and possibly more over the next 4-8 years. THAT ALONE is reason to NEVER vote for this man and his cronies! He could care less about my constitutional rights.

I do not believe he is a Republican, at least not in the general sense. I don’t believe he fits with any party. He’s a one man crazy show! He flips and flops from one party to another, up on one issue, then later he’s down on it.

He has no real policies, no real plans. Just listen to him. Really listen. He will say “it’s going to be great!” or something like “this plan is going to be huge” but he will never actually talk about any real plan. The man HAS NO actual plans or policies. He has NOT platform other than he loves himself, and he hates others.

Lastly, I will never vote for this man because our children are watching. I want to be able to say to our children – we care about you, we care about your future, your environment, your WATER SUPPLY, your future (and CURRENT) health and well-being, your rights to be happy, to love, to marry, to have children of your own, you right to an education, to a job, to the American Dream. A vote for this man is saying you care nothing about that. I would never be able to vote for such a person, such a GROUP and look my daughter in the eye.

I’ll end it here folks. I could write MANY more pages but I realize it is up to each and every person to make their own decision. I realize there are those out there who will vote for him SIMPLY BECAUSE they don't "like" Hillary. You know what? That's a horrible reason. I don't care at this point. Not liking someone is nowhere near as bad as realizing how horrendous this man would be for most of Americans. I hope we all make the right decision..... I’m making the only one my heart, my soul, and my mind will allow me to make.

I Cannot Hide My Despair

I cannot hide my despair.

As I woke up this morning and looked around my house; I realized that nothing there had changed. And yet I could not hide my despair. As I showered and cried, and dressed and readied myself for my day, I could not hide my despair. As I drank my morning coffee, fed my dogs, talked with my fiancé, I could not hide my despair. As I kissed my daughter goodbye, wished her a good day at school, and reminded her of how great she is, I could not hide my despair.

As I drove to work alone, trapped in my car with only my internal thoughts to keep me company, I could not hide my despair. As I remembered seeing the picture of the man wearing a T Shirt reading “let’s put white back in the white house”, I could not hide my despair. As I remembered that 4 years ago people had bumper stickers saying “Don’t re-nig in 2012”, I could not hide my despair. As I read the things my gay and lesbian friends were saying online this morning, I could not hide my despair. As I worried over those same friends and the fear they felt today that their marriages might not be legal in the near future, I could not hide my despair. As I saw many of my black friends say they felt hated and looked over, that they felt fearful for their sons and daughters, I could not hide my despair. As I remembered the many folks I know who have a different skin color than me, I could not hide my despair. As I read one post from a long-time friend who is fearful that he won’t live another year because he cannot afford to pay for his medication, I could not hide my despair. As I watched the rallying people online flying their confederate flags, yelling racist remarks about our current President, I could not hide my despair. As I remembered that just in the last few weeks I have seen people I know use racist words on social media, disrespectful words – like retarded, nigger, towel-head, faggot…..I could not hide my despair.

Today is a day of just feeling despair for me, and I dare say for many others. I wish I could organize my thoughts better and write what I am truly feeling today.  But today is all about just feeling despair. I think it’s okay if I just take at least one day to grieve the world I thought I lived in, as I realize I must accept it for what it actually is. Despair for our country, our people, our children, and our safety. Despair for all those out there who are feeling scared, violated, let down, and astonished this morning.

Then I see well-meaning people online saying I’m sorry. I see people saying it’s time to just forget it and work together. I am unsure where these people were when the current Administration was trying to get everyone to work together. I’m wondering where they were when everyone was running around saying “He’s not MY President.” I’m unsure why they’re saying they are sorry to their friends and family members who are voicing their own despair today. It’s sort of like a slap in the face, isn’t it? To say I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry you’re afraid. I’m sorry that you are in despair…but really I’m not sorry.

Hello, I am sorry that although you are legally married to your soul mate, raising your family the best you can, working full time, paying your taxes, being a great and productive citizen…. I’m sorry that very soon your marriage might not be real. It will be okay. It is okay if they put an end to same sex marriage. It is okay if they say your marriage is no longer valid. It is okay if you die and your spouse is left with nothing because legally your marriage doesn’t count. I’m sorry, but not really.

Hello, I am sorry that someone tried to sexually harass or assault you. I’m sorry you expected to be treated with respect. I’m sorry you feel that you cannot jog alone after dark. I’m sorry that we are okay with that. I’m sorry that you are de-valued as a woman. I’m sorry that you cannot, as a woman, take care of your own medical issues. I’m sorry if you cannot expect men to treat you with honor. I’m sorry that we are okay with treats and innuendos being called jock talk. I’m sorry that we are okay with bullies getting the upper hand. ’m sorry, but not really.

Hello, I am sorry if you cannot hold true to the God you believe in. I’m sorry if your version of God doesn’t fit ours. I’m sorry if you don’t want to pray the same way we do. I’m sorry if you are persecuted because your religion doesn’t match ours. I’m sorry if you don’t have the same right to your religion as I have to mine. I’m sorry, but I’m not.

Hello, I’m sorry if you are walking down the street minding your own business, but because of your skin color, you are open to stop and frisk. I’m sorry that we can profile you as suspicious, stop and frisk you at our will, due to the fact that you are black and we are suspicious of blacks. I’m sorry if we have to stop you while you’re out walking with your son. We have to stop and frisk him as well. I’m sorry, but not really.

I just don’t want to hear one damn I’m sorry from anyone right now. In fact, not ever. We are all allowed the opportunity in this country to vote. We are allowed to vote for whomever we wish. I’m not sorry for that and I don’t disrespect that opportunity.  But it is me who is terribly sorry this morning. I am sorry that we still have this archaic system of elections. I am sorry that our system ignores the popular vote in favor of an “all in” or “all out” approach based on absurd population numbers for a made up Electoral College. I’m sorry that more people voted for a respectable, intelligent, experienced and dedicated woman, and yet having the highest number of votes did not count. I’m sorry that our system is so outdated and that we cannot seem to change it. I am sorry that yet again, we have one person winning the popular vote but not winning the election. Although I will add one important thing here. She did win the popular vote. Yes there are still some paper/mail votes coming in. We likely won’t have that actual final tally for a few weeks. But it appears that one candidate actually did get more votes by numbers alone. And that candidate did not win. But it does add one SMALL ray of hope into my heart today. That means that more people voted against the hate and racism and bigotry than voted for it. But I’m still in despair that almost half of the voters did vote for this hate. I am in despair that, as a country, we still think it’s OKAY to not allow the winner to actually win. Hell I’m still sorry for Al Gore all those years ago when he actually won, and yet he lost!

I feel like I woke up today to a realization that I should have accepted earlier. But if I didn’t accept it before, I do now. And I’m feeling despair because I have realized and accepted it for what it is. When I see people running around wearing racist shirts, yelling racist words, and supporting this kind of hate, I feel so sad that these are my fellow Americans. I really thought we were better than that. I guess I just didn’t want to accept the truth. But I sure see it now. I see that about half of us want to turn back the clock and bring back the America we knew decades ago. Back when women stayed in the kitchen, blacks stayed on their knees, gay and lesbians stayed in the closets.

There are many things I stand for, and many things I stand against. I stand for equality for all – no matter what color the skin, where they were born, what they look like, who they marry, what their religion, what language they were born to, etc. I stand for equality for all. I’ve learned today that about half of our country does not stand for this. I stand for rights and respect. I stand for medical care for everyone who needs it. I stand for the little people just trying like hell to keep afloat in a system that’s fighting against them. I stand for women, for children, for same sex couples, for blacks, Latinos, Muslims, refugees, immigrants, and union workers. Every single thing I hold important is now under fire. Everything I stand against has the ability to become reality.

So although I cannot seem to truly organize my thoughts and feelings today, I’m left with only these two things. I’m sorry and I cannot hide my despair. Those two simple things seem so small and useless today in the face of this new reality. But they are all I can come up with. They encompass every single thing I am feeling today.

I’m sorry and I cannot hide my despair.

KY Abortion Law - Where they went right and wrong

Most of you know by now that KY has a new bill on abortions and it has stirred up people across the country. I've read this law and I've come to terms with it quickly. I want to share with you where they got it wrong and where they got it right. Before I do so, I want to be clear on something. I am not in support of this legislation. Not by any means. I do not agree with it. I do not agree with the way it was written, the clauses within it, or the sneaky way it was rammed through. However, I do find it important to make a few points that, as you'll see, go hand in hand.

Where they got it wrong: No exception for rape/incest.
The bill makes it illegal for a woman to have an abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy. The only clause for exception is medical need. This means a medical need for mother/child signed off on by a qualified doctor. There is no exception for rape or incest. The biggest problem here is that it doesn't work with another clause in the bill. It gives the "father" the right to sue a doctor or a mother if she has an illegal abortion (after 20 weeks). In fact, the clause would allow the "father" to sue no matter when the abortion was completed (or attempted). Now, I'm certainly not against allowing the father of a child to have a part in this decision making process, per se. However, because it gives no exception for rape/incest it opens the door here. If you go by the words alone - you can see the problem. This would allow a rapist to sue the victim if he is the father of her child. It would allow a father to sue his daughter if he impregnated her through incest. You see? This law allows any father to sue over an abortion for any child he has fathered. No exceptions. THAT is the problem. Women already face an uphill battle in cases of rape and incest. The courts already fail to properly charge and convict on these types of crimes. Courts already allow offenders to get off with plea deals and probation in many cases. To allow a rapist father then to sue the woman he raped is further trauma to a victim. Kentucky already allows any father to sue a woman for custody and visitation of a child that is proven his with DNA. There is no exception to that law for rapist or incest either. So in reality a man in KY who rapes a woman could sue her if she has an abortion, and he could sue her for visitation/custody if she does not have an abortion. This is wrong.

Where they got it right: No exception for rape/incest.
No, I am not duplicating the above paragraph. You see, KY got it right and wrong on this same issue. I've heard for years from the anti-abortion groups that abortion is "killing babies". They shout it from the rooftops that abortion is an abomination against God. It's not Christian. It goes totally against all of God's wishes. I know you've heard it too. Yet if you look at MOST of the abortion laws that these same people try to pass, they all have a rape/incest exception. Well, until now in Kentucky, that is. The conservative, Christian, anti-abortion crowd almost always gives an exception for rape/incest. But the thing is, that goes against what they are all screaming about. You see if you want to make abortion illegal because it is immoral, that's one thing. Morals are so subjective. But if you are saying that abortion goes directly against God, then it's another thing totally. You see if you try and claim that it's wrong to kill babies (and that's what they all claim) then how can it be OKAY to kill those that are created by rape and incest? It's not the baby's fault that he/she was created in this manner. If you truly believe all life is created by God, then you cannot turn around and say that it's okay to kill a child created in one manner or another. You must then believe that it's wrong to kill all babies because they are all created by God. Yet hardly anyone ever makes this argument. Nobody wants to stand up and try to make it. I get it. It's a tough one. It's hard to look at a rape victim and tell her that she must have that baby. But you know what? It's hard to look at a 14 year old girl living in poverty and tell her that she must have the baby she's carrying after sleeping with her 15 year old boyfriend. It's hard to tell a woman who is 35 and already has 4 children she can barely feed that you're sorry her birth control failed but she must now give birth to a 5th child that she cannot afford to feed or house or clothe. It's hard no matter which way you go. However, if you really want to say you're totally against killing babies; that all babies are created by God and it's wrong, then you must stand up and say that this includes ALL babies. You cannot give an exception on how that baby was created. It just does not add up. So in this vein, KY is one of the few states that actually got this one right. It's all or nothing if you're going to make laws based solely on religion. You don't get to pick and choose. Only when you make all abortion illegal are you following what you say is God's word. I don't think there is any spot in the Bible that says all babies are God's precious creatures except for those created by rape/incest.

You might think that what I've said is wrong. You might agree. Either way I hope you've at least started thinking about this and that maybe you're interested enough to look into this new law. As I stated at the beginning, I am not a supporter of this law. I do not think it is right for a bunch of politicians to tell women what they can and cannot do with their bodies - or to try and make medical decisions for them. However, if you support this law you really need to make sure you understand the law in its entirety. I've only touched on TWO pieces here. There are several pages of this law to be read and I could write more I'm sure. But I think this is enough to get people thinking.

What are your thoughts?

When the Winner is the Loser

I find it a disgrace that our country still has this archaic electoral college and I've written to leadership about it. I urge you to get involved as well. Search online for ways.

Let's look at the facts here. We have elected a man to be our next President who is losing the actual vote by over a million at current count, and there are still about 4 million votes left to count - many in areas where HRC is gaining high numbers. She could, at the end, hit the numbers that President Obama garnered back in 2012. Her "loss" is record breaking, absolutely historic - because we have never had such a gap with a loser getting this many MORE votes than a winner. Trump managed to get the higher number of electoral votes despite losing 21 states. And in 7 that he won, he did not win with a majority of the state's votes. That totally goes against what our electoral college was designed for in my opinion. The numbers in those 3 battleground states (as they are called) were so close, that literally 55,000 votes could have flipped the scales and given him a loss. So here we have HRC - who has actually made history - and she lost. She has gotten a higher number of votes than anyone in history who did not go on to win.

There has only been ONE time that the winner of the popular vote has not won the presidency in our modern era. Many of us recall quite well when Bush "won" and took the White House even though he in fact lost the popular vote. But back then, Gore only got  543,816 more votes. So that was the gap. Look at this gap we have now with HRC and Trump. It's over a million now - and might be 4 million before it's over (or more). She will in fact, probably win the popular vote by a much higher percentage too, than anyone who has "lost".

This tells me (and many others) that we have a system that does not work for our country. AND do not even TRY to say for one minute as a Trump supporter that you wouldn't be SAYING THIS exact same thing had your man "won but lost" - because you would! We said it with Bush/Gore, and we are saying it now when it's millions times worse. In fact, if you want to complain about my words - just remember back in 2012 when Trump literally SAID that this system of electoral votes is a "disaster for our democracy". And adding to that, he said last week on 60 Minutes that he STILL AGREES that it is not a good system. He said that he would rather see us use the actual popular votes - whomever gets the most votes is the winner. So don't even try to argue. Those old arguments about big states and small states, big cities and rural areas - are all debunked by now and it doesn't really matter anymore.

Senator Barbara Boxer from CA has proposed a Constitutional Amendment to address this issue. You can also check out and get involved in the bipartisan National Popular Vote Initiative. Get involved. Research and get educated on these issues. Especially those of you who are young. This is YOUR FUTURE we're talking about. Do you want to keep giving the leadership roles to the loser? If its happening THIS bad right now, think what will become of it as the population changes even more. The electoral college system is now archaic and needs to go. There are other proven methods out there we could go to. We are literally the ONLY country in the free world that allows the loser to be the winner! Share, get involved, get knowledge!

~KLA